Transferring to a new school in Gilroy was not easy, I wore sweats everyday, I never wore my hair down and my friends weren’t the best of people. In middle school I wore the ugliest form of an “emo” phase, I dressed in all black, I wore gauges, I had fake piercings and would constantly be in the office. I tried to do homework, but I was never good at that, I was constantly pulled out of class for things I did. Middle school I never was academically ready for something. I didn’t learn to manage my time, I didn’t like math, I didn’t like science either. I did read, I was always able to read with no problem. Till I got to high school did I learn to like these basic things how different it would’ve been, I didn’t excel in high school my freshman year, I definitely think I could’ve done something better with myself freshman year. I didn’t have skills in high school, I wasn’t self directed, I didn’t master any skills for high school, I did not have experience with technology. I was able to represent who I was in high school, I was able to see who I was as a person. I came out to my mum, I learned how to carry school spirit even though school really drained me. If I am honest, thinking critically was something I knew how to do but it wasn’t for academics, I did every possible thing to avoid school, I learned how to get some work done but I never exceed my freshman year. Middle school and freshman year, was off track and the only career choice I had was to be a criminal investigator, but now that I am moving forward I know I want to be something else, but I don’t know what. In middle school, there was two jobs I wanted to do, I want to be a psychologist and a criminal investigator. Once I was in high school entering my freshman year, I had no motive to do anything. Did I have any plan in high school? No. My school didn’t actually focus on having a job and if they did it was for students who had a chance to grow. The students that didn’t have a gpa lower than a 2, the students who were focused to have a job. I wanted to be an English teacher, I was inspired by my freshman English teacher, I was in awe by how kind she was, she was understanding and could hear that I was going through different things. In 10 years, I don’t know what I want, I want to leave Watsonville, I want to leave the bay area. I don’t have a career choice yet, but I do know I no longer want to live in the bay area. But I do know that it will change in due time. i think I plan on moving into something in law, i am not ENTIRELY sure. My freshman year was not my worst year academically, but I definitely experienced losing friends, I don’t know how I could’ve handled things. I am still working on who I would want to be, or what I plan to do. Even though I am dealing with different things, I suppose it taught me something. I definitely think I am not the best in trying to figure out a career plan, but I would like to think I had a different way to communicate and master skills.
I became a better communicator after I dealt with my depression when I was hospitalized. I had to force myself to be more honest to my parents. I still had issues with talking back to my parents, I was a very sarcastic person. I don’t know if that has changed but, I have been able to communicate with self-deprecating humor. In 9th grade I was not self-directed at all. I made the attempt, I wrote down my homework but never actually did it. I did have my moments though, I didn’t drop any of my work but I did absolutely nothing. I would turn late things in, but 9th grade I never got an F, the limited desiree too completely disappoint my mum was enough to not want an F. I did have different special interests, I would write poetry and I would start to play with makeup. I would try to get good grades because my parents would try to bribe me with different things. Any time I wanted something it would be,” I need you to be on track with your school work.” I was definitely something else, I knew I was an activist and a feminist. I knew I wanted to fight for different things. I think this was the most important to me when I figured that I would fight for different things when someone would touch girls as a joke, that people who weren’t people of color and use racial slurs for fun. I learned that not everyone gets the same chance and that some jokes weren’t funny. These are always going to be important traits to me because I wanted to be an independent strong person. I was never the one to do well in academically. I knew I wanted to have a strong voice in people’s rights but I don’t think I could apply the right technology skills. I definitely was not as skilled with technology than I am now, my freshman year I only took an Art class. I learned different mediums but that was about it. I could honestly say whether or not I was good at different things in technology. My freshman year I did not know how to cite things for my essay and I had limited knowledge for using technology. I don’t think I was ever good in things in google docs or anything like that. I honestly only used my phone and went to the library to check out dvds because I didn’t have cable, we were broke and lived in the middle of nowhere. So I could say honestly I have more experience now. I still think I could work on different skills in technology, I am barely realizing you can make pdf’s on google docs. Now I wasn’t the best in technology but I was able to represent myself. I could always represent who I was in my community. I participated in my school’s spirit days and I could stay positive. I loved spirit weeks, it was the best time of the semester, everyone had some sort of love for the school. I think it made it somewhat of a better place. I honestly do not know if it was a better place at times because any time there was a spirit week, there would always be a fight, it was like a type of tradition. I think at some point there was three fights in one day. I did not engage in different things, I mean I did work as a lunch lady, but I am not entirely sure it was the most active thing I did. I probably should have joined a club or something. I tried out for volleyball and football, but I couldn’t because of my grades. I did not have a work ethic except from work, I think I tried my hardest there than anywhere else. I always asked for some sort of extension, or just turned them in half done. In high school, I realized how different and how the school was really not diverse. Most of the time it was almost as if we were fitting the stereotype of people of color, were the ones who were seen as lazy. I probably felt like this because I never thought I was given the same opportunities in school than people who just so happened to be white. I do think I could speak and represent about myself, but I do think I could try to think creatively. Critically thinking, I do not believe I could think critically in the way of academics. I would make different excuses to leave class or to do different things to get an extension on work. The good decision was probably just working on my mental health. To stop involving myself in other people’s problems. I could never focus on myself but focus on other people. I could’ve made a better decision in confronting my old friend maybe, I think I should have just avoided her and not made it a big deal but at the same time I am glad I did. I made a calculated risk when I decided to publish a piece of my poetry and enter it into a contest. It worked out for me in the sense of being happy with myself. I really do think that was the one creative thing I did that year, I was extremely excited about the poem I wrote. I was excited to have a new start on, I thought I could actually try on a new school year. My ninth grade year was a mess, I personally don’t think I did the best in my past years, but I am not sure of how things are going to plan anything.